Getting married is a very big decision in anyone’s life. It is not only the union of two people, but their families, cultures, and traditions as well. Also, getting married puts a societal label on a relationship, which comes along with many expectations, responsibilities, and questions. Thus, marriage is something that should not be rushed in. Here are questions to ask yourself before tying the knot.
Is it necessary?
Sometimes, marriage can become an option because it feels like the logical next step in a relationship. That doesn’t mean it’s necessary. To uncover the “whys'' behind the necessity of marriage, uncover some of your beliefs. This will help you explore the deeper, authentic feelings and beliefs you have, away from expectations or cultural beliefs.
Do you and your partner value marriage equally?
Are you and your partner on the same page? These are tough conversations to have, but if preparing to make a lifelong commitment, ideally it would be with someone you can have these conversations with.
Do you trust your partner?
Trust is the foundation of all long-lasting relationships. When considering marriage, you must look at your levels of trust. Do you trust your partner to communicate openly? Do you trust your partner to show up for you when necessary? Do you trust your partner to build a sense of togetherness in the relationship?
What are my goals in life and are they compatible with my partner’s goals?
Be sure that you are clear on what you want. It is important to interrogate your big life goals and ensure that they are sufficiently in sync with your partner’s. Instead of making wild assumptions, make sure you get clarity before you get married.
Do I want children?
If one partner does want children and the other doesn’t, it’s going to be tough to find a compromise. If you want children, do not continue to be in a relationship where the other person is not sure about the same. Or you politely and lovingly tell your partner to let you know if they change their mind.
Is this relationship fair and equal?
If one person is always giving more, compromising, and focusing on fulfilling the other partner’s needs, a reassessment must be done. Spending all of your energy keeping one person happy becomes way too much of a burden over time.
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