I’m a young lady of 25 years who schools and works at the same time. I’m currently enrolled in a private institution and you guys know how much that costs per semester.
There are certain things going on in my home that really disturbs my heart. My dad at this point is someone I really detest. Reason being that my dad is a soldier, he’s been with my mother for 24 years and hasn’t married her yet. Growing up, I noticed things were ok cos my mom was into trading and was being a bit supportive. My mom has been someone who hasn’t shown me love as I see her show to her other kids.
Anything concerning me is a different issue so growing up, I haven’t really loved her like a mother cos she caused me a lot of pain as a child. Now at this point in my life although I’m older and know better, I’ve noticed her business has gone down in fact it has collapsed and my dad watched it collapse without helping her raise it back.
He will go for his monthly salary and won’t give anything to my mom for up keep. Sometimes we can go 3 whole months and no food at home, and I have to use my fees money to support. At a point I deferred my course for a year because I had to support home and had no money for fees.
Recently, she was diagnosed of stomach ulcer cos she doesn’t eat and that’s because there’s no food in the house. I came back from work today and saw that there was a bag of rice at home. I asked who bought it and she said my dad. According to her when she asked my dad, he told her that she’s not his family so he won’t take care of her.
A lot of multreatments from him towards my mom and it’s heart breaking. I can’t help as I have to pay my fees and all. My salary is just 1100. Anytime I come home I find her eyes very red from a lot of tears. Sometimes I have to borrow money and give to her to eat in the morning.
Her own mom and siblings too don’t have anything to help her with. Meanwhile, he has money to give to outsiders and spend on little girls who are side chicks.
I’ve advised her to leave that marriage since my sibling and I are grown ups now. She’s just 45 and has a lot ahead of her. She doesn’t want to go. I have a feeling my dad won’t take her with him when it’s time for him to go to pension. Every day I feel really sad for her due to what she’s going through. My dad just isn’t doing anything for her.
Anytime she brings up a business idea, he will say something stupid and squash the idea. When my mom was working, my dad wasn’t giving monthly money for house keep cos my mother was supporting and we were all okay.
How do I handle this? I’m the first daughter and the only one who feels burdened about this whole issue. Why are some men like this? He wants to play my mom for a fool. I want to help her but I’m not stable enough to do that. What do I do?
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