Life will always astound you in the most incredible ways, but I never anticipate how unexpectedly it will also break your heart. Everyone always says that life will give you lessons that will help you develop and better yourself, but no one ever tells you that getting these lessons will be extremely painful and difficult. (And if you don't have to, you're lucky.) They won't tell you that you must stand up for yourself or endure the futility of trying hard. Nobody tells you that before you find happiness, your heart will break into a million pieces.
Nobody ever teaches you how to deal with all of these because no one can imagine the suffering and pain you go through. Nobody can predict how many opportunities will be lost to you. Nobody is aware of how many lonesome nights you've spent sobbing yourself to sleep only to awaken the following morning still feeling empty.
Nobody knows how many times you must beg God for assistance while on your knees. Nobody is aware of how many silent prayers you still need to say. However, you continue to have faith, to wish, and to hope.
I hope that wherever this journey takes me, I won't have to travel a thousand miles in search of the place where I truly belong.
I hope that one day I won't need to fight my battles alone in order to control my mental agitation.
I hope I can still comprehend all of my feelings and silence.
I hope I won't have to lose myself once more in order to find a little happiness in this world.
I hope I won't have to relive my past trauma in order to guard my heart.
I hope that even if people turn out to be dishonest and unreliable, I will still be able to trust them.
Even if the unhappy memories outweighed the pleasant ones, I hope that I can still look back on my past with objectivity.
I hope that despite the breakings that lie ahead, I will still achieve and appreciate my breakthroughs.
Even though I'm in pain, I pray that I can continue to have faith in healing.
I hope that the next time, no matter how far I fall, I can still get back up.
Because all I know is that I am strong but my heart is worn out, I pray that whenever I have to go through with that again, I will still be able to make it.
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