Dear Heavenly Father,
I don’t think I have the holy spirit anymore. Or if I ever even had it. I fall easily into sin, my addictions still haunting me. I deceive myself that I’m not addicted, that I have it under control. Oh yes! I didn’t give in the weekend so I’m fine. I am sure you laugh at me when I’m thinking like this. I’m just fooling myself when I can’t stop. I feel remorse and shame towards myself whenever it happens.
I pray for forgiveness and through your Mercy Love and Grace I am forgiven. Maybe that is part of the reason. I have been taking advantage of your forgiving nature. That’s why I ignore the guilt in the beginning and deal with it after I have committed my sins.
I wonder whether you are ashamed of me. Whether I disappoint YOU.. Yes of course!!!! I even disappoint myself. Maybe it's pity YOU feel when your children go astray. You’ve shown us the way but yet hmmm. Shame on me for falling yet again. I know it might happen again yet I hope it doesn’t happen again. Please don’t give up on me.
Forever Your Child.
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