Don't idealize the relationship
Wonderful, tender, gallant. In short, you have just met the ideal partner. Blinded by love, you tend to idealize your loved one and project your fantasies of happiness onto them. The trap ? Not to see him as he really is but as we dream of him. However, no one is perfect, and as soon as the daily grind sets in, it is collapsing.
My opinion: To build a long-term relationship, separate reality from the fruits of your imagination. What are its real qualities? Is he (she) really funny or do you laugh as soon as he (she) opens his mouth? Without pointing out its flaws, be aware of the little flaws to improve.
Live the present moment with your suitor
Under the spell, he or she invites you to dinner by candlelight ... Suddenly you confide in him how much your ex hated this kind of place. And now you tell him your life through the menu. Classic. Unconsciously, you put your past on the table to test it. Worse, you try to scare him (her) away and thus escape a new relationship that scares you. You can also project yourself into the future and talk about your next romantic weekend, the beautiful children you will have.
The psychologist's opinion: You are not living in the present moment. Reconnect with your partner. Immerse yourself in the world of sensations: catch his gaze. Listen to what he (she) tells you.
Being confident in one's self
You have just met a soul mate, and you should be swimming in happiness! However, ideas darker than the others go through your head while waiting for the next meeting. You find yourself ugly and uninteresting. This is called the inner monologue. It often feeds on negative thoughts and manifests itself in the absence of the chosen one.
The psychologist's opinion: To remedy this, it suffices to identify the negative comments and to refuse them energetically. For example, write in one column all the sentences of the type: I do not come close to the ankle, and in the other, a particular quality, something that distinguishes you: the patience of an angel, a gift for cooking, the love of beautiful things.
Cultivate your personality and assert your feelings
You are ready to do anything to gain his favors: ditch your friends, change your habits. You are one of the addicted lovers and you neglect yourself for the benefit of your partner. His needs and wants are more important than yours. More often than not, the person who adopts this attitude thinks that this way the other will like him more.
The psychologist's opinion: In the long term, this love mode will push you to leave the better to "find" yourself. It is your qualities that appealed to him and are at the origin of this idyll. So cultivate your personality. Get in the habit of asserting your feelings and true aspirations.
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