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Husband and wife relationship

Drop some pressure and laugh aloud with the others.

 A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening  the front door.  "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil  all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move  until I tell you to." she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."  "What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he entered the room. "Oh,  it's just a statue." she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one  for their bedroom. I liked the idea so much, I got one for us too." No  more was said about the "statue."  Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went into the  kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here." he  said to the 'statue.' "Eat this. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's  for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

 The Next Day - Conversation between husband and wife.

Husband: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? 

Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Hubby: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? 

Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

 Meanwhile the conversation led to a break up so the woman had to marry again but her husband was abusive. She got remarried and that husband ran out on her. She got married again and that husband failed in bed. Finally, she put an ad in the paper: "Looking for a man who wont abuse me, wont leave me, and wont fail me in bed." The next day, the doorbell rings.  There is a man with no arms and no legs. "Hello, I saw your ad in the paper," he says. "Tell me a little about you." "Well, I have no arms, so I cant hit you. I have no legs, so I cant run out on you," he replies. "How do I know youre good in bed?" she asks. He says, "I rang the doorbell, didnt I?"

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