Believe it or not, love, like almost everything in life, is learned . And sometimes we learn the wrong way. As it affects all people, as it is one of the most powerful and universal feelings that exist, each one gives it its own characteristics and ideas that, on many occasions, are not entirely true. Some of these beliefs about love , if they become extreme, can harm the couple. Let's find out what they are about. In that article, I named passion, intimacy, and commitment as three fundamental components in any relationship.
1. Love is the basis on which the couple is sustained.
As if the simple concept of love, often idealized and difficult to decipher, was the key. What defines a good relationship is, in addition to the three components mentioned above, good communication , a good system of reinforcement between the two, respect, trust and a good way to solve problems together. These and many other factors are true love.
2.- Love is spontaneous, unexpected, fortuitous, unpredictable: you cannot control who you fall in love with.
Where is that written? Spontaneity in love is not entirely true: it requires predisposition on the part of the person. Love is not something magical that just happens, without us being able to do anything to prevent it. Each person chooses who they fall in love with because, for love to exist in that relationship, there must be all those components that do not appear mysteriously, but must be worked on and achieved.
3. An idea closely related to the latter is the following: love, as it appears without our being able to control it, can also disappear without our being able to solve it.
This is a belief that has a lot to do with the idea that love means falling in love. Falling in love is nothing more than a phase of love. If we believe that those emotions and feelings that are experienced at the beginning of the relationship are the ones that will always send the couple, we are very wrong. Love is transforming, it changes, and we have to adapt to that: if not, we are lost.
4. And the last misconception: love can do everything. Perhaps "everything" is over-generalizing.
Love can with almost everything, but not with everything. Basically it can with the things that you decide , according to what you have learned throughout the relationship (and what each one learned on their own). It may be that one of the two is capable of overcoming a difficulty that the other is not; That is why communication and negotiation are so important in moments of conflict in the couple. Therefore, only love is not enough.
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