While many people reveal in the idea of a single soul mate, it's possible to feel love for two people at the same time. This can be confusing, especially if you are presently in a relationship. If you find you're in love with two people, evaluate your feelings. Think about your love for each person, and your personal feelings regarding monogamy. If you are in a relationship, figure out how to cope with feelings that verge on emotional infidelity. After figuring out your needs and wants, look into how to move forward. If you're in a relationship currently, you'll want to set firm boundaries for the future.
1 Look into any differences between how you love each person. If you find yourself in love with two people, these people may be meeting different emotional needs. Identifying the different reasons you love each person can help you figure out how to move forward.
What do you get from each person? Your current boyfriend or girlfriend may bring you stability, but your love for him or her may feel like friendship love. You may have passion for another person that's missing from your current relationship.
If you're experiencing two different types of love, there are ways to navigate this. At the beginning of a relationship, you may be more passionate about someone. If you're feeling passion for someone new, you can limit your contact with that person to conversation, for example. You can learn new things about someone and allow yourself to experience the emotional infatuation of a romance while staying physically faithful to your current partner.
However, be careful. You should be comfortable letting both parties know what is going on. If you're hiding something from your partner, you may be having an emotional affair.
2 Think about your needs and wants. Our culture tends to value monogamy, both emotionally and physically. However, you may want and need different things out of a relationship. Only you can define what you want and need from romantic relationships. You need to know what that is before you can move forward.
Do you feel you need to be emotionally invested in one person at a time? Some people only want to focus on one person at once. Many people find their capacity for love - romantic or otherwise - is not finite.
3 Consider your take on emotional monogamy. For some people, love has to be monogamous to work. You may need to be loyal to one person on an emotional level as well as a physical one. For others, emotional monogamy is not necessary. You can be physically faithful to one person, but have feelings for people outside your relationship. Think about your feelings on the subject, and whether you're okay being in love with two people.
For some, the ability to love one person at a time is vital to a happy relationship. Some people feel you cannot truly fall in love with two people, as love requires you have an intimate connection with only a single person. Not everyone shares this sentiment. If you are in love with two people, you may be able to have an intimate connection with two people that is equally deep and meaningful.
You may not believe love has a finite value. If this is the case, monogamy may not be in your best interest. Consider pursuing a relationship with both parties at the same time, keeping your expectations open. Dating casually can allow you to explore your options. You may eventually settle on one person.
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