How do we choose the people we fall in love with? How do we choose the right partner to settle down with? In this modern world with the ideology of romanticism, what we do - is to trust our feelings. As long the adrenalin rush makes our blood boil and the ecstasy of meeting this person makes us feel unique - we don’t question. If our heart shivers and plays melodious tunes from seeing the person we like - our brain stops processing.
Most of time, there are red signs, large- plain- vivid- prompting us to become inform about certain things but we choose to neglect it. Why? – We are too busy falling in love to even notice the danger arrows.
Finding and choosing the right life partner is a high stake decision. It can be very confusing but this process is very essential for each person to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
The first and most important thing is to know yourself. Know the things you adore and like, the things you dislike and can’t stand. The habits you can tolerate and cope with and the attitude you simply can’t put up with. These will guide you to narrow down your list of eligible life partners by observing their behavior and traits and matching it up with the things you like.
Why do you want the relationship?
As an individual you must know what you look for in a relationship. Do you want to date because all your friends are dating? Do you want to get married to just anyone because all our colleagues are married? Know why you want the relationship; match up to see if the person you are choosing can fulfill those needs and live up to the expectations you’ve set up. Think about your ‘Why’ well, be logical and reasonable about it.
Is the person willing to invest time into the relationship?
Every good relationship must be a two-way street. Each party must make it their priority to make the relationship work. The person you choose must be someone who is willing to invest their time and efforts into the relationship. They must be willing demonstrate concern for your needs and run to you when you require it.
A respectable and an honest life partner
It is heartbreaking to be with someone who constantly disrespects and lies to you. Choose a partner who doesn’t undermine your capabilities or think less of you. Choose someone who is open minded and does not refrain from an open and genuine conversation.
Financial state of your potential partner
Money is important and you must consider the financial state of your life partner. Is your partner working? Do they have a stable income? Do they run their own business? Are they working on other projects to make extra income? Do they have long term and short term financial goals? Consider all these, because you will need money to provide for the needs of the family you will create in the future.
Having shared valued will fortify your relationship. Decisions on where to live, number of kids to have, your goals and ambitions, plans to advance your career, religion and culture, sex and intimacy - must be things you agree on without much hassle.
It is essential to know how your potential partner behaves with their family. Check the quality of their relationship with their family. Are able to love, accept, forgive and have their families back? Can their family count on them in difficult times? Are the selfish or selfless towards the people closer to them? Will they be willing to accept your family and your loved ones? Ask yourself these question, because settling down with a life partner involves many parties; not just the two of you.
How do they handle unpleasant situations?
Watch how they behave when they are hurt, angry, sad, betrayed, disappointed, or can’t have their way with something. Do they explode or try to think of a solution? Note that how your potential partner behaves with others under these circumstances says a lot about how they will behave towards you under similar conditions.
Kindness and generosity
Find someone who is kind enough to wrap your wounds and embrace you when you are down. How generous are they to you and to outsiders. Find out if they love you and are willing to go many miles just to put smiles on your face.
To wrap up, if you are considering choosing a life partner; then the trick is to employ both your heart and brain, don’t leave one behind. When we are love-struck we fail to see many indications, so utilize the points discussed above in order to make a good decision.
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