1. Work on yourself mentally and emotionally.
Reach out to friends and family in your life to boost your support network and help you create an independent, thriving life that’s ready for partnership. If you’re interested in reconnecting out of loneliness, understand that entering a romantic relationship might not immediately solve your problems. As you work towards a happier version of yourself, consider working with a therapist to better get in touch with how you feel.
Start a ritual to process emotions like meditating or keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings.
Spend time doing the things you love and pursuing your passions so you can show your ex you're someone who can put effort into your life and future relationships.
2. Manage your expectations for the relationship.
How long has it been since you’ve seen your first love? Reflect on the ways you’ve changed since then and understand that your ex might have changed just as much—or more! Embrace the exciting mindset of connecting as the present versions of yourselves, rather than trying to connect with past versions of each other.
Ask yourself: "What do I hope to get out of this relationship?"
Look them up on social media if possible to get an idea of whether they have a partner or family already.
If your ex has a spouse already, let your first love go. Remember that there’s no "perfect partner" (including your first love!) which means you will still be able to find the happiness you deserve with someone else.
3. Find your ex’s contact information.
Start by searching for their full name online or on a social media platform. Add any relevant information (like a hometown, birth year, job title, or nickname) to your query. Look through school alumni databases, professional networking sites, or reach out to shared friends to find a good phone number or email. Feel free to reach out directly through social media if you can find a profile.
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