The Bible says a man will leave his father’s house and stay together with his wife. This is very apparent in many lives and this belief cuts across all religions.
But in our efforts to find the partners we seek to have in our lives in perpetuity, we sometimes tend to be ripped between two loves and have hurdles choosing one. Our society doesn’t support polygamy.
So how does one get to choose just one lover (monogamy)?
Indeed, it is possible to fall in love with two people or even more. The heart is a funny one you know. But when you are faced with such challenges, follow these enumerated points to overcome the distractions:
Evaluate what you feel for the two people
Attraction is very important in finding love. What you feel for an individual is mostly defined by the physique of the person, the ideologies you share, the fun and chats you have, and how comfortable and happy you feel when you are with that individual.
Evaluate your emotions
The fact that monogamy is the well-accepted moral standard in our society doesn’t mean everybody feels the same way. Thus, evaluate your emotions on the two lovers you are keeping: do you feel guilty or you are just fine jolting between two lovers? You know, sometimes, people don’t feel comfortable dating two people simultaneously.
Think about your needs and wants
In every relationship, both partners are to complement each other. The shortfalls of the man should be filled in by the woman in his life. Moreover, they should share similar values, belief, goals for their families and many more to live a happy life. The man should know exactly what he wants and lacks. This way, a proper lover can be chosen to complement each other.
Make a decision
Finally, having exhausted the above-enumerated points, make a decision. Choose the one you feel more comfortable and compatible with. Now talk to the other partner about it. It must be in a respectful manner definitely.
Don’t use words like “I feel like…” and “I think…”. Be specific and firm but polite.
Say for example: “you know I am dating Afia and you as well. But considering our values and compatibility, Afia stands higher than you. I, therefore, want to date her exclusively”
That is if the lady knows the other lady.
But if she doesn’t know you have another lover, say;
“I have carefully observed the two of us and we both have different values, belief and poor compatibility. I want to herein discontinue this relationship to prevent the further ruin of our young days as spinsters”
This should end one relationship and allow you to practice your monogamy in peace.
I hope you find this informative.
Enjoy life. Enjoy love.
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