Sometimes you feel like you have to love someone out of obligation. Maybe they are an important figure in your life, such as a parent, child, or other family member. You may want to love that person, but you may have difficulty loving and appreciating them for who they truly are.
In today's write-up, we are going to look at tips on how to Love a person for who they are
1. Seek understanding. Seek to understand the other person better. Maybe you’re having difficulty with their beliefs or actions, which are different from your own. Maybe some things they do remind you of aspects of yourself you don’t like. Talk to them about their opinions and beliefs. You don’t have to agree with them, but by talking you can try to understand or tolerate where they’re coming from. Be open and curious. Come to them with a genuine interest in learning what they think. Understand that it’s normal and human to wish for others to be different or to change.
2. Practice empathy. Empathy is the ability to take on someone else’s perspective and feelings, so as to understand them better and act differently toward them. You can grow your ability to empathize with others by remaining curious. Talk with other people you don’t know very well to learn more about perspectives and worldviews different from yours. Challenge your own prejudices. Search for what you have in common with others instead of what divides you.
3. Accept. Accept your differences and similarities. Appreciate the other person’s uniqueness and your own. You can indirectly practice acceptance by saying to yourself a mantra: “I accept you. You are who you are. We are all unique and your path is different than mine.”The more you say it, the kinder you will feel toward them. You directly practice acceptance to the other person by listening and validating their feelings.. For example, if a friend just got fired from her job, you can say, "It sounds like you're really feeling scared about what to do next, which is understandable since you had a hard time the last time you lost your job." Don’t focus on any judgments you have about her losing the job, just focus on her.
4. Spend time together. Share activities and seek connection with the other person. This will help bring you closer, learn more about who they are, and give you memories to share. Spending time together will also help your communication and help you build on each others’ strengths. Some activities to consider: Sharing a meal together.
Camping or spending time outdoors.
5. Identify and let go of expectations.Think about what expectations you have of the other person. Write them out or talk them through with a trusted friend or counselor. Are your expectations achievable or realistic? Start looking at who they are and what they can do, not who you want them to be. For example, if you want your spouse to spend time with you after work, you have to directly ask them. It's unrealistic to expect them to read your mind and know what you want without you telling them. Instead, you can say, “I’d like for us to spend time taking a walk together after you get home from work. Would that be something you can do?”
6.Commit. Invest time and interest in each other. Commit to each other during tough times and good times. Commit to continually working on accepting one another and working through any problems together. Forgive each others' differences. Be present. Don't talk on your phone, do work, or focus on other things when you're trying to spend quality time with each other. Establish traditions with each other. Develop and share common goals, despite your differences. Be willing to make sacrifices or compromises.
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