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Love relationship


Dating Romantic

3 Things to Do When Your Boyfriend Is Mad at You

1. Now's your chance to share your perspective.

If you have facts or insight that he didn’t have, share it now. If you made a mistake, admit to it without shifting blame or giving him any excuses for your behavior. Use "I" statements to talk about your feelings; "you" statements tend to feel confrontational.

For example, you might say something like:

"I know I should have told you about going to that party and it looks bad that I didn’t say anything. I didn't tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I was with Kathy and Cheryl the entire night and we had each other’s backs."

2. You don’t have to agree with his perspective to validate it.

Perhaps your boyfriend didn’t have all of the facts. Because of that, his perspective of the situation is skewed, but you can still understand why he’d be angry. You aren’t admitting you did anything wrong or agreeing with his perspective; you’re simply validating his viewpoint. Say something like:

"Ben, I totally get what you’re saying about feeling overwhelmed and confused. I would have felt the exact same way if I were in your shoes."

"I’m glad you told me this, Randall. I had no idea that’s what you were thinking! I completely understand why you’d be mad at me about something like that."

"Your feelings are completely reasonable, Derek. I'm so glad you told me."

3. Find out exactly why he’s upset.

Did he suddenly start giving you the silent treatment? Perhaps you two didn’t have a big fight; you thought everything was fine, but today he started acting differently. He’s clearly angry about something but what? At this point, try to avoid jumping to conclusions. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know what it is, so be direct and ask him what’s going on.

You might say, "Erik, I can tell you’re upset with me, but I honestly have no idea why. Please tell me what’s bothering you so I can fix it."

If he isn’t ready to talk about it yet, it’s best to respect his wishes. You’re more likely to resolves things when he’s ready.

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