There are a lot of good reasons you might want to avoid someone that you’re attracted to. Maybe they are in a relationship, maybe you are in a relationship, or perhaps the person is a co-worker. You might just want to avoid someone you like because you know that they are not good for you. Whatever your reason, there are steps you can take to manage your crush in a healthy way. Keep reading for some helpful advice!
Steer clear of unnecessary interactions. Go out of your way to prevent bumping into the person. This might seem pretty obvious, but it can also be challenging if you don't consciously think about it. You might not be able to totally stay away if you work or go to school with this person, but you can take extra steps to make sure you don’t see them unless you have to. It can be really challenging to switch things up, especially when you're doing it for an emotional reason. Remember to be patient with yourself and start by doing what you can.This could mean changing up where you grab lunch or your morning coffee. If you used to bump into them while walking your dog, consider taking an alternate route.
Change up your routine. Switch up your schedule so that you don't see them. In addition to trying out new places, you can start doing things at different times of the day. This is a great way to avoid them knowing what you're up to and popping in to say hi. Pick a couple of changes to make that won't make you feel too off-balance. This might feel really difficult, or even sad, but you can do it. For example, if you used to work out at night, try hitting the gym or going for a run in the morning. It might seem like a pain to have to change your habits, but it’s probably one of the most effective ways to keep them out of sight.
Mute them on social media. Avoid seeing their posts. If you keep seeing fun pics of them pop up, it might weaken your resistance. It might also make you feel a wave of emotions that you'd rather avoid, which is totally normal. To steer clear of the temptation to scroll through their photos or even show up to the spot where they are, set them to mute on your social media accounts. If you want, you can unfriend them or stop following them. But if you’re worried that might invite questions or draw attention to yourself, the mute option is your best bet. You’ll stop seeing their posts but don’t have to stop being friends on social altogether.
Set clear boundaries with your crush. Don't flirt with them or touch them. If they are also attracted to you, it can be even harder to not act on your feelings. This can be especially tricky if you can’t totally avoid them. Make it clear with your words and actions that you’re not interested in pursuing things, even if that feels really hard. Resist the urge to flirt even if they initiate it. Even if they start complimenting you and acting interested, resist the urge to reciprocate. If you work with them, say something like, “I’m trying to stay professional. Thanks for respecting that.” Avoid physical contact. Don’t casually touch them if you do run into each other. That can send the signal that you’re interested in them. It can be super tough to resist these urges, so don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Just try to get yourself back on track with a pep talk.
Distract yourself from your crush by doing things you enjoy. Take up a new hobby or revisit an old one. You could also take your mind off of your feelings by taking on an extra project at work if you feel up to it. Try something new like taking tennis lessons or going to a painting class. This will engage your mind and give you something to do with your time. You could also spend time on projects you’ve been wanting to tackle, like cleaning out your closets. Even though you're going through something tough, there can be benefits to this time.
Spend time with your friends and family.Make an effort to connect with your loved ones. It will be fun and keep your mind off of your feelings. Just make sure to try to avoid places that you know the person you’re avoiding is likely to be. Ask your best friend to take that road trip the two of you have been talking about forever. See if your mom wants to start taking a long hike with you on the weekends.
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