Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear a person down. In an abusive relationship you end up constantly lowering the bar for someone because “you love them”.
Frema Babe appeared on date rush expecting to go home with a date, but this was without some shocking revelations into her past relationship. She revealed that yes indeed, she was in an abusive relationship. Many settle for such relationship even though their partners disrespects, not treating you right, saying hurtful things to you, betraying you with their words and/or deeds and eventually making your life a misery.
Believing that you love someone doesn’t make any of that right. You need to get your basic needs met, too. And met daily in a relationship. Not in the mythical happily ever after that comes only when you manage to endure the numerous assault that your “relationship” has turned into. You need to feel loved, valued and happy in the Here and Now because you are loved, valued and happy right here and now.
“Loving” someone who treats you like they hate you because they do is not enough. They don’t need your love and you are not showing yourself any love. Frema herself admitted that yes, that one lesson she has learnt is to love yourself first and not settle for anything less, before she stated her preference and it was for a guy who would care for her, ready and matured.
Her prescription also included a guy with money, sexy, caring and handsome. She revealed what actually didn't make her previous relationship work and she said "the guy was abusive and an angry guy. I wanted to leave and the guy won't let me go and threatened to kill me."
She finally walked home with her dream man Ima who was happy to have her.
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