I'm on the edge of evicting my hubby on some days. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this. My hubby has always been a slacker when it comes to duties and a gamer. Aside from that, he's always been the sweetest, most supportive man I've ever met, who made me feel cherished and unique and who I knew would be an incredible father. We sat down and spoke about what would be expected of him as a father and what he'd have to give up before opting to have children. He stated that he was fine with everything.
The first two months following the birth of our child were incredible. When my body was still healing, he was doing at least half of the job, if not more. But it's now entirely degraded, and I'm beginning to despise this individual. I have the impression that I am in charge of everything.
Despite the fact that I earn more money than she does, I am responsible for all of our household expenses, including rent. The only thing he's in charge of is food, and as a result, the fridge is always empty. Every month, he moans about not having enough money and "jokes" about how unfair it is that I have money to spend on things I enjoy. What happens to all of his money? I couldn't tell you anything, and he won't tell me anything either. He regularly begs for a loan at the end of the month, money that I will never see again.
I am, without a doubt, the "primary caregiver." If I leave the baby with my husband, he will fail to feed him, take his diaper, wash his teeth, properly outfit him, ignore him when he screams, and if I frantically want a little self-care time, he will let the baby walk over to me and watch as he screams to be picked up. “It isn't my fault that he wants to see you.”
He seemed to be attempting to make the place untidy. I keep begging him to take the baby so I can clean up a little, but he refuses and says, "He'll take care of it." He never gets around to it, though. So I'll be caring for the baby full-time as the place deteriorates. I find his socks and garments all over the house, he hides dirty dishes in the oddest places, he'll watch me clean, spill something, or drop something on the floor, and then he'll simply WALK AWAY FROM IT. If he does anything like "wash the kitchen counters," there will still be so much food and stains that I'm not sure he even soaked the cloth he used to wipe them down. Though I suggest it isn't good enough, he reacts as if I am extremely demanding. Every morning, the flat appears to be in worse condition than the day before, and it is having a significant negative impact on my mental health. At this moment, all I want to do is cry.
I have to be in charge of everything, including doctor's appointments, special days, Christmas gift shopping, and purchasing baby clothes or supplies. He still has no idea what diaper brand we use, so I have to remind him every time he goes to the store. I have to remind him of his OWN stuff because if I simply leave him to himself, he'll forget work meetings, deadlines, personal bills, and so on.
All of my Christmas presents, including those for his family and our child, had to be planned, found, and purchased by myself. He was only in charge of one gift, and it was for me, and he just... Have you forgotten about it? In mid-January, he handed me a late Christmas present. In my nation, today is Mother's Day, and he had promised me that he would clean the apartment and let me sleep in. He let me sleep for an hour (though the baby kept crying, so I didn't get much sleep), then came in enraged at the baby for screaming, put the baby on me, and asked if he could sleep for a while as well. I take the infant out of the room only to discover that the flat is still a pigsty. It's actually getting worse. I gave him an hour of sleep, he asked for more, I gave him another 20 minutes of sleep, and he still refused to get up.
Some days, it all hits me so hard that I simply want to cry in the bathroom in a melodramatic manner. I've tried talking to him, yelled at him, reasoned with him, bargained with him, cried with him, and told him how much it's bothering me. He continues saying, "I'm sorry, I'll do better," but nothing seems to improve. And when I point it out to him, he becomes irritated and huffy, as if I'm assaulting him. I end myself comforting HIM because he's unhappy over his lack of confidence. I don't know what to do now.
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