Butterflies in your stomach, giddy laughter, jolts of electricity—does it all mean you’re crushing on someone, or are you just really into them as a friend? If you’re feeling pretty confused, don’t worry. We’re here to help you make sense of your feelings and figure out whether the person on your mind is just a friend, or if something else might be going on.
Defining a ‘Crush’
1. Know what a crush is. Urban Dictionary defines a crush as “a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.” Crushes make you feel crazy emotions--like feeling shy and uncontrollably giddy at the same time. You can’t always choose who you have a crush on, but you can choose how you react once you figure out that you have a crush on someone.
2. Realize that there are different kinds of crushes. The term ‘crush’ gets thrown around a lot. It can mean that you simply have a passing infatuation with someone, or that you really like them.
The Friendly/Platonic Crush (sometimes called a "squish"): It is important to remember that not all strong feelings are romantic, some of them can be platonic as well. Letting yourself trust someone and become really close to someone, without necessarily having romantic feelings for them, is a really special thing. Wanting to be around a person all the time may just mean that you have gone from friends to best friends. It's totally normal to have a friend crush - you should want to hang out with your BFF as much as possible and have a platonic relationship with them.
The Admiration Crush: When you idolize a person (like a celebrity, teacher, or classmate who has done something really cool) you may realize that you have really intense feelings about that person and what they have done. These feelings might be mistaken for romantic feelings simply because they are so intense. Feeling slightly awed in the presence of someone who has done something amazing or can teach you great things is natural. Often, it's best to let a bit of time pass before really thinking too hard about these feelings. Generally once you have spent a lot of time with this person, you will have learned a lot from them and may begin to feel like you can stand on equal ground. You may find that your crush-like feelings simmer down once the initial awe of being in their presence wears off.
The Passing Crush: It is human nature to be attracted to other people. Even if you are in a great relationship, you still might find that you feel attracted to someone other than your romantic partner. This attraction is what we call a passing crush-- this new person may seem new and exciting, and they probably are, but that doesn’t mean you should reconsider the relationship you are in or, if you’re single, drop everything to try to be with them. Often times, passing crushes are spiked by being attracted--most often physically--to someone.
The Romantic Crush: Sometimes having a crush on someone really does mean you really, really like them--and in a romantic way at that. Having a romantic crush means that you want to be with that person in more than just a friendly way--you want to be their romantic partner. If you fantasize about kissing, holding hands with, or cuddling with that person, you probably have a romantic crush.
3. Consider how serious your crush is. By doing this, you can figure out how best to proceed--whether you should keep your feelings to yourself or share how you feel with your crush. Read the next sections to help you figure out just how strong you are crushing on that special someone.
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