You have your eye on a shy girl, but you’re trying to pluck up the courage to talk to her. The good news is that it’s easier than you might think. When you do talk to her, it's important to be mindful of her feelings and avoid pretending to be something you’re not. By knowing how to approach her, start a conversation, treat her around others, and (if it comes to it) ask her out, talking to her will become second nature.
1. Don’t make assumptions. It might be tempting to think she has low self-esteem or is boring. However, many shy girls are very self-confident and enjoy doing exciting things. Keep this in mind before you approach her and throughout the beginning of the relationship. Treat her as an individual, not a stereotype.
2. Approach her by yourself
Shy people usually don’t like being the center of attention. If you walk up to her with your friends, she might feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Make the first introduction a one-on-one event.
3. Avoid overly crowded places
Shy people usually don’t like attention from too many people at once. At the same time, they usually like to be able to reach out for help if they feel unsafe. Approach her when fewer people will be around. Some possible times and places are. At the end of the day, as you’re walking to the bus stop.
After class at the local café.
Maybe you know her name, but you’re not sure if she knows yours. Start with something like, "Hi! You're Emma, right? I'm Joe. Nice to meet you!" On the other hand, if you don’t know her name, you could try, “We pass each other everyday, but we’re always rushing in opposite directions. Now that we have a few minutes, can we talk? I’m Joe, by the way. And you are…?”
Frowning might turn her off because it can make you look unfriendly. She’ll likely react more positively to you if you smile. Even if you’re feeling a bit down, a simple smile can brighten the mood and keep her engaged in the conversation.
6.Respect her feelings from the outset. Acknowledge that shy people usually don’t think of their shyness as a problem. In the beginning, she probably won’t want to say too much, or she might speak with a soft voice. Show consideration for her preferences. Don’t ask her to “speak up” or make puns about her personality.
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