This are some of the ways you can comfort your physically when she is upset with you:
1. Be patient as she gets a hold of her feelings. This doesn’t mean be passive. Rather, you should watch, wait, and know when to act. It may take a while for your girlfriend to open up depending on how upset she is. Knowing when to act will only be possible through communication. Consistently ask her if she’s ready to talk about it.
Only leave her alone if she tells you to. Even if she seems angry or upset, stay with her until she has calmed down.
2. Use physical contact to comfort her. Light touching works wonders. It releases the hormone oxytocin. This hormone elevates feelings of attachment, connection, trust, and intimacy. If you’re holding hands, run your thumb over her knuckles or rub small circles on the back of her hand. You can also place one hand on her shoulder or the small of her back for the same effect.
Holding hands is a great stress reliever. This simple act increases a sense of trust and security and lowers cortisol (“stress hormone”) levels.
3. Hug her. Be firm but gentle-soft rocking or patting on the back is fine if you need to calm her down a bit before you can talk. Remember, you’re hugging her to help comfort her, so ensure that she feels safe and protected.
Hugs provide a sense of security. We are wired to find touch reassuring.
4. Don’t push it. A gentle touch or hug is plenty to comfort your girlfriend. If she wishes to kiss you, she will.
5. Move her. Physically take her somewhere different to surprise her with an act of kindness. At this point, she might not want to be around other people. Suggest a small getaway to take her mind off of things.
Set up a private picnic for the two of you.
Treat her to an afternoon massage at the spa.
Go see a new comedy movie.
Take her for a walk.
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