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6 Common Childhood Behaviours That Affect Your Love Life, Relationship And Marriage.

It is everybody’s wish to have a sound and happy love life, relationship and marriage. Essentially, one can enjoy a happy life through their relationship and social networks. But there are certain childhood behaviors that inhibit this kind of well-meaning relationship that we all aspire to have one day. In this article, we shall delve into some six childhood behaviours that have impact on our love life to a large extent.

 

1. The first thing to consider is your communication and interactions.

Everybody has a unique way of communication. This said, it is worthy to note that in one way or the other, we are generally influenced by how we were brought up. And since we grew up in different families and in different environments, these differences in communication will inevitably come out in our relationships. Imagine that your partner grew up in an environment where people can shout at each other when they disagreed with each other. This attitude automatically becomes part of him or her. This would transcend down into the relationship. If this is not the case with you, there will always be a challenge coming into terms with each other. This would be a great impediment to communication in your relationship or marriage. This is why you need to identify your communication patterns and that of your partner. This will enable you tolerate and cope with them.

 

2. Your religious beliefs, philosophy and values.

In terms of values and beliefs, we influenced by the adults with grew up and how they raised us. The truth is, many people out there cannot abandon the values they acquired from their parents or guardians. We may have grown and developed our own values but we carry these childhood beliefs with us into our adult relationships. Sometimes, the standards we set for ourselves may not be the same for necessarily judging others but that is what we do mostly. You may choose to be very kind and generous. But some way somehow, you may be impatient.  If your partner also cherishes self-discipline and does not care about generosity, you can’t crucify him for that. Actually, it can be very difficult to break away from the beliefs and values of our childhood. When it comes to relationships, you need to be aware that other people might have different values. The best you can do is to find a way of adjusting or managing your way out. 

 

3. Your style of affection and companionship.

The fact that you were fortunate to grow up around loving and caring family does not mean everybody got it the same way. When you observe how some couples show their partners of affection, you will actually realize that there is a great variation.

Indeed, we can possibly show love and affection in different ways. For some people, an act of love might be to be overly helpful and generous, always asking, “What can I get you?” For others, it might be the complete opposite; love might be shown through self-sufficiency so as not to be a burden. As a result, partners might not feel affection because they are showing it in different ways. Here, what you need to do is to put yourselves on the same page.Check out some parenting mistakes that ruins a childs growth in the video below




4. Your attachment styles

We can briefly talk about these four attachment styles that adults adopt: Secure – comfortable with intimacy, not worried about rejection, autonomous.

Anxious – preoccupied, very insecure about the relationship, crave closeness

Avoidant – uncomfortable with intimacy, values independence and freedom

Anxious-avoidant – uncomfortable with intimacy and worried about a partner’s commitment and love. It’s not difficult to see how our attachment styles can affect our romantic relationships. You need to know that; our attachment styles result from the attachments we had as children.

Some people had parents who were very, caring, and loving. This makes them to be open and have trust in their adult relationships. They may only be disappointed when they meet unpredictable and unreliable people. Here it becomes disappointing and quite difficult to adjust.

5. Your notion about money, luxury and comfort.

The best thing that happens to some people is to get married to somebody who falls within their social class. This situation has two underpinning factors. The first is the kind of mindset we grew up with regarding who we want to marry. As essential as money can be, it is never the ultimate. Despite the need for basic necessities such as food, clothing and shelter, there really is no universal standard for how to spend your money. The way people spend their money will automatically differ. Same way in every relationship, you cannot expect to have all these situations perfectly in place. As two people begin to merge their lives, they will need to question their mindset of money. While you don’t need to agree on everything, you will need to find a balance.

6. How well you can adapt to change.

While some people may adopt to perfectionist mindset in order to receive affirmation and approval, others may choose to satisfy themselves with personal efforts and self-appraisal. It is unnecessary however to compel our partners to do as want. When we do so, the harm that it may cause us would be for false approval through pretense. In the end, we may have caused more harm than good to ourselves. 

Content created and supplied by: Nukegbe (via Opera News )

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