Leaving a controlling or manipulative relationship may be far more difficult than staying in one. Even if you don't think you have the confidence to quit the relationship or that your partner won't be able to survive without you, you won't be able to start living life on your own terms until you break up with your spouse. If you're serious about ending your relationship, Then you must plan ahead of time, execute your approach, and stick to your plan. Gaining the courage to accomplish it is the most important component.
Get ready to end your relationship.
Be aware of the fact that you are being manipulated. Many control or manipulation relationships last much longer than they should, because the individual being controlled or manipulated denies the error. You may think your spouse is a little moody or annoyed, but in fact he or she is gradually gaining control over all aspects of your life. Here are some signs that you're in a controlling or domineering relationship:
If you see a person gradually starting to dominate all aspects of your life, from how often you meet with friends to where you eat, you have a controlling partner.
When people with you cause anger or emotional outbursts and tell you how much they need you or love you, they will use their emotions to manipulate you.
If you have previously attempted to leave and the individual threatens violence or suicide, you are threatened and manipulated.
If the person you are with is very jealous and you hate it when you are with friends, especially friends of the opposite sex, and it is difficult to do so, you are in control.
If your spouse has humiliated you in front of friends and family, discouraged you from speaking too much in public, and gives you a menacing look that makes you remain mute, you're being dominated.
It's time to terminate the relationship if you're continually giving in to your partner because you're afraid of how he or she will respond if you don't.
If you're being pushed to do things you don't want to do, especially sexually, you're being controlled.
If you're desperate to please that person at any costs, you've stopped thinking about yourself.
If the person makes you feel that there's no way out and that you'll never find someone else who wants you, you're being duped into staying in the relationship.
Consider all of the reasons why you should leave. When you realize you're in a controlling or manipulative relationship, consider how much better your life will be after you're free. This will motivate you to leave and start planning your escape method.
Write down these arguments to ingrain them in your mind and persuade you to leave as soon as possible if you want to continue enjoying your life. Some of the reasons you should depart are as follows:
It's time to regain your self-identity. Make a note of all the things you used to like doing before you met your partner, from getting fro-yo with your friends to going for long walks alone, that your partner no longer "allows" you to do.
You are now free to redirect your focus to your other connections. Remember how you used to spend your evenings with your buddies before your girlfriend intervened and proclaimed every night date night? Make a list of your favorite times spent with friends and family, and picture how much fun and pleasure you'll have once you get back into it.
Your self-assurance will skyrocket. Your self-worth may now be decided by how fantastic your spouse makes you feel at any given time, but once you're out of there, you'll be able to assess yourself on your own terms. If you have low self-esteem because you know you're giving in to someone who is emotionally or mentally unstable, you'll feel better after you stop.
You don't have to live in constant fear and anxiety. Instead of worrying about how your significant other will react to anything you do or say, you can enjoy your life.
You may also use the help of a close friend to come up with some justifications – a friend may know more about your relationship than you do, and he or she can encourage you to leave.
Make a list of the things you're going to say. Keep it short and sweet so the other person doesn't try to fight with you, begging you to change your mind, or promising to change or do whatever you want in order to keep the relationship going. You don't have to provide a million reasons for leaving or a laundry list of all the ways the individual has let you down; doing so will simply make things more difficult.
"This isn't working for me," or "It's time to say goodbye," and then add a few more short statements.
Being bitter or accusatory is futile. As a result, your partner will become even more emotionally volatile.
Try to be as calm as possible when delivering this news. Screaming, weeping, or pacing are not acceptable. Keep things almost casual, even if you're in anguish on the inside. If you are obviously unhappy, your partner will see that you are easily swayed.
After you've decided what you'll say, you should practice saying it. This will make you feel more at ease with the language.
In your thoughts, put an end to the connection. Tell yourself that it's really over before you say what you need to say, and start coping with the natural grief that follows the end of a significant relationship. If you start thinking of yourself as divorced before informing your partner, you'll feel more confident in saying what you need to say since you've already made up your mind.
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