1. Tell your girlfriend about your suspicions. You’re probably really nervous about talking to your girlfriend, but it’s the only way to know for sure if she’s cheating. Explain that you care about your relationship and are worried that something is wrong. Then, say that you think she might be cheating and why you suspect that.
You might say, “I really love you and want to have a future together. Lately, I’ve been worried that our relationship might be changing. I’ve noticed that you aren’t as affectionate, disappear for hours at a time, and are spending more time on your appearance. These behaviors have me worried that you’re cheating.”
2. Expect her to get upset when you confront her about cheating. She’ll likely get upset when you bring up the topic of cheating, whether she is or isn’t. Reassure her that you’re trying to help your relationship and deserve the truth. Then, give her a chance to explain what’s going on.
You could say, “I see that you’re upset, and that’s not my intention. I want to make things better for us, but I need to know the truth.”
3. Listen to her side of the story. There may be a perfectly valid reason for her behavior, so give her a chance to explain. Don’t interrupt her while she’s talking and encourage her to say all she needs to say. Additionally, paraphrase what she said so she knows you were listening.
Say, “It sounds like you’ve been questioning our relationship,” or “It sounds like you’ve just had more things on your plate than I realized.”
You might want to break up with her if she is cheating. However, listening to her side and thinking things over gives you a chance to make the best decision for you.
4. Check for signs that she may be lying to you. It's really hard to tell when someone is lying, but there are a few signs you can look for. First, consider how she normally acts in a conversation with you. Then, look for differences in the way she's talking to you when you ask her about cheating. Here are some indications that she might be telling a lie:
Her body language suddenly changes when you ask her about cheating.
She starts squirming, fidgeting, or pulling away.
Her sentence structure changes to longer, more confusing sentences.
She breaks eye contact.
Her facial expression changes.
She blushes, bites her lip, flares her nostrils, or sweats.
She talks either faster or slower and her tone changes.
5. Decide whether or not you’re willing to continue the relationship. Whether or not she admits to cheating, you need to figure out if this relationship is what’s best for you. You deserve to feel secure in your relationship, so think about whether or not you feel like you can trust her. Then, decide if you want to work on the relationship or end it.
If she admits to cheating, ask yourself if that’s something you can get over. If it’s not, it might be best to move on.
Consider asking your girlfriend to work on things with you. If she shows an interest in saving your relationship, it might be worth trying to make things work.
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