Todays article emphasize on signs which shows your marriage is on the verge of collapsing
Spot signs of contempt, such as mocking, sneering, or hostile insults. Expressions of contempt are statements or nonverbal behaviors that attack someone’s sense of self. Contempt is motivated by feelings of disgust and intense dislike. Because of this, it’s one of the most serious signs that a marriage is on the rocks. Expressions of contempt might be insulting statements, such as “You're a loser,” “You disgust me,” or “You never do anything right.” Sarcasm and hostile humor are also signs of contempt. Signs of contempt can also be nonverbal. You or your spouse might sneer or scoff when the other enters the room, or you might roll your eyes when the other one speaks. If you believe you or your spouse hold strong contempt for the other, it might be time to part ways. If you’re both willing to work on your marriage, a marriage counselor could help you create a more respectful environment.
Take note of constant defensiveness. When one or both spouses make frequent personal attacks, being together feels like walking on eggshells. Ask yourself if you always feel the need to defend yourself, constantly anticipate being blamed, or automatically assume that your partner is about to insult you. Think about how often your partner seems to act defensively. Try to notice if either of you seem to constantly say things like “It’s not my fault,” especially without provocation.
Look out for signs of stonewalling. In order to resolve a conflict, a couple needs to maintain open lines of communication. Stonewalling, or when one or both spouses shut down, walk out, or give the silent treatment, is a sign of a serious breakdown in communication. Keep in mind it’s okay to delay resolving a conflict until you’ve both calmed down. However, a partner should say, “I’d rather not discuss things right now. I think we both need a little time to cool off,” instead of just ignoring their spouse. Likewise, if you find that you keep failing to resolve things, that could be a sign of a larger issue. Disagreement can encourage growth if you're able to work through it as a couple, but it can quickly become unhealthy if the same issues persist.
Keep track of your positive and negative interactions. It’s perfectly normal for spouses in healthy marriages to argue. However, arguments and other negative interactions shouldn’t outnumber positive interactions. If you and your spouse fight more often than you show affection, it might be time to work on your marriage’s underlying issues. Likewise, it's important to keep track of how much quality time you spend together and whether you make an effort to make time for one another. In the moment, it can be easy to feel like you fight all the time, but that's not always true. As a general rule, there should be five positive interactions for each negative interaction. Positive interactions may include hugging or kissing, paying compliments, having a quality conversation, or having dinner together. Keep in mind an emotionally abusive person might offer expensive gifts or treat their partner like royalty most of the time. Forms of abuse, including physical violence, threats of violence, isolation, attempts to humiliate, and demeaning insults are always unacceptable. No positive interaction justifies abusive behavior.
Evaluate your emotional and physical intimacy. Some married couples aren’t intimate, and it works for them. However, if you and your spouse experience a steady decline in emotional and physical intimacy, you might be disconnecting from each other. Examples of emotional and physical intimacy include saying “I love you,” paying compliments, expressing appreciation, confiding in your spouse, holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and having s€x. Again, dry spells are normal, but there’s a difference between not being intimate because you’re exhausted or stressed and not being intimate because you don’t like your spouse. Other indicators may include selfish behaviors such as one partner spending large amounts of money or making career plans without consulting the other. Breakdowns in communication and intimacy due to contempt or disgust are difficult to overcome, and might be signs that it’s time to go your separate ways.
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