Sign in
Download Opera News App



Love relationship


Dating Romantic

Should You Be Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend: 4 Reasons Why That May Be A Bad Idea

Should be friends with your ex? Friendships make us healthy and happy. They give us support, joy and companionship. They serve as a valuable source of advice. And they give us a sense of belonging. But what if that friendship is with a former romantic partner. Being friends with an ex presents some key challenges. How do you navigate the change from an intimate and affectionate sexual relationship to a platonic friendship characterized by some emotional intimacy, but not too much? How do you handle the emotions of a breakup so that you can maintain a connection with your ex, but can still move on to a different romantic relationship?

Are you still in contact with your ex and do you want to go back? Learn about the techniques that will help you regain the love of your ex partner easily and effectively, even if your relationship has not ended for the better. Recent research from the University of Kansas documented four key reasons why people remain friends with an ex and looked at whether they predict positive or negative friendship outcomes. Previous research has also tried to uncover the reasons why people are friends with an ex. Taken together, these studies suggest that there are a variety of reasons, not all of them helpful, why people choose to remain friends with an ex-partner.

1. Security.

Friendships make us feel secure and fulfill attachment needs , so it's no wonder that security is a key reason people stay in touch with a former partner. Establishing a friendship with an ex for safety reasons is linked to the positive results of that friendship (for example, feeling good and safe in the friendship). This reflects what researchers identify as sentimentality. People see these positive emotions as the number one reason to remain friends with an ex. Maybe you shared many wonderful moments, you are used to talking with your ex, you trust him or her, and you enjoy their company. Emotional support, comfort, and connection are strong motivations for maintaining a friendship after a romantic relationship falls apart .

2. Practical reasons.

Forget about emotions - sometimes people keep in touch with their exes for purely pragmatic purposes. Maybe they benefit from money, gifts, food, or the power of an ex. Other practical reasons include the potential for hooking up with an ex, the ability to manage shared friends or browse shares, pets, or kids. The researchers suggest that friendships formed for practical reasons like these do not usually last long , but are associated with positive outcomes.

3. Civility.

You may not really want to be a friend, but you do want to be polite and considerate of your ex's feelings. These are documented reasons for being friends with a former partner. For some people, especially those with high attachment anxiety, it can be easier to be friends than to participate in a possible confrontation. A "positive tone" strategy to dismantle a relationship may make it easier, but the friendship may not last.

4. Unresolved attraction.

It may not end well, but many people seek a friendship with an ex because they still have romantic feelings for him or her. They're still in love, they can't imagine the ex with someone else, or they didn't want the relationship to end in the first place. All of these reasons can lead someone to maintain a friendship with a former partner. In addition to the reasons above, some people transition into a friendship because, well, the spark is gone. Perhaps they were never really attracted to the ex , they felt the love dissipate, the relationship didn't mean much, or there were no hard feelings after the breakup. Regardless of your motives, navigating a friendship with a former partner isn't always easy, but you're not alone, some evidence suggests that most of us (roughly 60 percent) are friends with at least one romantic former partner, with roughly 20 % report that they are friends with more than one ex.

Interestingly, the data suggests that LGBTQ individuals tend to have more post relationship friendships than heterosexuals. This is based on evidence suggesting a particularly greater emphasis on friendship and intimacy in LGBTQ relationships. This perhaps suggests that the centrality of friendship to a romantic relationship could be part of the equation that helps determine if a friendship could develop after the relationship, and if it could be a good one.

Content created and supplied by: CyraxPen (via Opera News )


Load app to read more comments