If marriage partners have any these of misconceptions, they may cover up their anger in one or more of the following ways:
1. Denial - ignoring the evidence
2. Peace at any price - giving in rather than engaging conflict and withdrawal
3. Grievance collecting - keeping track record of everything that has happened
4. Passive/aggressive behavior - pouting, sarcasm, stubbornness, procrastination and generating guilt
5. Bigotry - hating another group of people
6. All is well attitude - overly sweet and nice about what is happening
Anger Can Be Healthy In a Relationship
According to David and Vera Mace, expert in marriage enrichment movement, indicate that anger is healthy and normal and is present at different times in all marital relationships. Couples should give each other the right to be angry. They outlined a way of coping with feelings of anger that surface in almost every marriage.
According them when spouse notices angry feelings coming on, those angry feelings should be expressed in words, but said calmly and with love. These feelings should be expressed in much the same tone as they would say, "I'm tired," or "I'm very tired." Couples who effectively manage their anger agree that it is necessary to express and acknowledge it. They agree never to attack in anger even though they share angry feelings. They should agree with each other that they won't yell at one another unless there is extreme anger even that one they will do it in a good way.
If we develop non-yelling policy it will remove the need for a spouse to feel defensive or to develop any type of Retaliatory anger. If both partners can express their anger calmly, they will be better able to find out how and why the is present in the marriage
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