Do you feel like every time you open your mouth all your husband hears is white noise? Do you state your opinion but don't feel heard by your spouse? Many women complain about their husbands not listening. The secret to getting your husband to listen lies in understanding and working with your differences. Men and women have drastically different communication styles. Learn how to communicate with your husband more effectively so that he actually starts listening to what you have to say.
Changing Your Approach
1. Choose a location where you can talk without distractions. While it might be tempting to call him on his cell phone in the very moment you become upset, calling at work or while he is busy is not going to end well.
The best location is somewhere quiet, without cell phones or the TV on. If you have children wait until they are asleep or out of the house to avoid any little ears.
2. Ask whether it is a good time. When you approach him, your husband may be in a bad mood, sleepy, or angry—these aren’t good times to talk. When you ask to speak to him, you have to also be ready for him to say it isn’t a good time and to respect that.
If it isn’t a good time in the moment, ask him when it would be better. If you want a two way discussion, you have to respect his request if talking needs to wait.
Set a realistic time if it does need to wait, and stick to it.
3. Sit beside him rather than face-to-face. Sitting face-to-face can be intimidating and even making eye contact during a tough conversation can be distracting. Sitting next to him sets a more comfortable and open environment for the talk to start.
Men want respect out of relationships, and forced eye contact can be a sign of aggression for some men.
4. Signal to him that the topic is important. We all live busy lives and have learned to tune background noise out to get to the important stuff. He needs to know when you truly need his undivided attention.
We all have those moments where you say “Yes dear” without listening, so don’t take it personal if it takes a few times for him to hear how important the subject is. Make sure when he agrees to talk he has really heard your request.
Some of the best ways to signal that the conversation is important would include getting closer to him and speaking in a different tone than you would normally banter back and forth in. Getting his attention does not mean yelling or raising your voice.
Thanks for reading this article.
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