1. Plan a conversation.
After you both have calmed down, suggest a time to discuss your conflict. After a big argument, it's important you schedule time to talk to assure you are both calm going into the discussion.
Choose a time to talk where there aren't outside constrictions on time. Pick a week or weekend night when neither one of you has to work early in the morning. Aim to talk in the early evening sometime after dinner so hunger and sleepiness cannot interfere with your conversation.
If you do not live together, try to choose a place that's a neutral ground. While you might feel odd discussing your relationship in public, a neutral ground might assure no one feels uncomfortable. You can pick a place where not many people are around, like a spacious, quiet coffee shop or a public park that's not usually crowded.
2. Express your feelings.
After an argument, you need to accept and experience your feelings. While we may dislike emotions like anger and sadness, it's important to acknowledge them rather than ignore them. Stifling your feelings can cause an explosion down the road.
Accept that emotions are not always rational. If your girlfriend hurt your feelings, for example, logically knowing she did not mean to do so might not help you let it go. Know that you and your girlfriend are both entitled to an emotional response to a disagreement, even if that response is not entirely logical.
3. Analyze what caused the fight.
Fights rarely happen over nothing. Take some time to analyze what caused the fight and whether there is anything you could have done differently in the situation.
Review what occurred. Why did you start fighting? What triggered the argument? What was said? Do you regret anything you said? Why or why not?
Keep in mind memory is subjective, especially in stressful situations. It's likely your girlfriend might remember certain aspect of the fight differently than you. This is normal. It does not necessarily mean one of you is being untruthful. It's just that stress can cause memories to be inaccurate.
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