A healthy marriage is not a gift, but our own choice and hard work on ourselves. Everyone has problems and misunderstandings in their relationship. Sometimes it feels like it is easier to give up. While that may be true, it’s less of a challenge than to keep on moving through all the phases. But if you chose to be together despite it all, you can get a real treasure. We believe in marriages that can last forever and checked the phases that couples may face on a way to harmony.
Criticism. Not everyone can take criticism, but when it is very straightforward and reminds us of an attack, it can become a huge problem, especially between partners.
Attraction to someone else. This might be not easy to digest, but 70% of women in relationships admit that they have crushes. The attraction is a normal feeling and it doesn’t mean that they’re going to cheat. The important thing is to not act on these feelings and to be totally conscious of what you are doing. Don’t close yourself off from your partner just because you are confused right now. There can be many temptations in your life, but trust is one of the most valuable things in a relationship.
Contempt. Contempt comes from moral superiority. It can be sarcasm, eye-rolling, and hostile humor and it is always destructive for any relationship. You need to learn how to express appreciation and gratitude. It is like a mirror. The more positive you feel, the less you express contempt. It is hard to work on yourself, but it’s worth it. Your partner should see and hear that you show love, not just irritation.
Explosion. Children, financial crisis, toxic family members, and all those things all together just can drive you crazy and that’s how you arrive at an explosion. You don’t want to do anything but leave. This stage can happen at any time in the relationship. Never forget that challenges are a part of our life and that it is all temporary. If you can manage the hardest times together, your connection will grow. Marriage is not just about sharing joy and happiness, but also about sharing problems.
Acceptance and forgiveness. This is the stage where we finally understand the fact that we are never going to solve problems in a way like we did before and we have to figure out a more peaceful way of living together. Everyone has their own ways: some talk to close friends and family, others read self-help books.
Together at last. After overcoming all the stages, hard work, and pain you get a real jewel. You don’t struggle anymore together, you have your own agreements with your partner, and you learn how to solve problems and not run away from challenges. Now you share a history. At this phase, you understand that marriage hasn’t been easy, but you can be proud of yourself. Appreciation is very important. It makes you feel secure about your partner. Now you are together at last.
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