Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially now that everyone is talking about ghosting and they think it is easier to just disappear from someone's life rather than have a little courage, face the situation and speak clearly, but psychologists They say that there are some things you can do to not end up as affected and to end things in the best possible terms, to minimize the pain in a painful situation.
The end of a relationship, whether you cut, a divorce or a death, will always produce a feeling of sadness (unless you are dead inside and have no emotions, or you are a psychopath) that can affect all your activities, and to overcome it, everyone is going to tell you that you should give it time and stop thinking about it until it no longer hurts, the problem with that is that there are relationships that are very deep and that even change your life and routine, in very significant ways.
That timing works with relationships that weren't that important, but it may not work with long relationships that were connected. Fortunately, experts say that does not have to be devastating and, if you do things right when cutting, you do not have to be suffering as much.Of course, there are relationships that you will be happy to end and it will not cause you any emotional problem to stop seeing that toxic person, but there are others, especially longer relationships, that, even if they no longer work, will cost you work to finish and that is because you already had a routine with that person, they had favorite places, shared memories, mutual friends and many other things that, obviously, you are going to miss.
On the Internet there are many tips on how to survive a breakup, but there are few that tell you how to cut so that the process is as friendly and calm as possible, without hurting the other person and without ending up emotionally destroyed in the process, and that it's more important. Cutting right makes everything less dramatic, but also makes you suffer less as you try to get back to it.
Psychologist Loren Soeiro, said that “when contemplating a breakup, one must recognize that an effective end to the relationship is not the only thing at stake. If you have spent enough time in the company of another person, if you have shared feelings and physical or emotional intimacy, you will need to consolidate the positive memories of the relationship as you progress in your life. You'll want to accept the reasons the relationship didn't work out while still retaining the ability to look back warmly.
The person you are breaking up with deserves the same, and they will need to experience the breakup in a way that doesn't overwhelm their fond memories. Your goal, by breaking up with him or her as gently as possible is to acknowledge the parts of the relationship that were good and to validate those experiences.” The point is to recognize that you are not the only one who is going to be affected by a breakup, just as you are suffering, the other person may be going through the same thing, so before cutting you must take into account what they lived and how that it's going to affect what happens to their lives next, at least for a while.
There are 7 steps you need to take to make sure you don't end up destroyed, and that the other person doesn't either.
1. End the relationship as soon as you realize that it cannot continue
Psychologists say delaying the inevitable is only going to cause more relationship problems.
2. You have to cut in person
It is tempting to leave a message informing you of your decision, but it is not the right thing to do, doing it in person lets the other person know that the relationship was important to you too. Cutting by message only creates confusion, because you cannot explain things or give them the right tone.
3. Be honest about how you feel
Acknowledging what you feel helps you cope better with the situation, but it also helps the other person know what went wrong and your true reasons for ending a relationship.
4. Be clear with your reasons for cutting
Even if the relationship is about to end, your future ex deserves your respect, so you must be clear about what led you to make that decision, so you avoid confusion and that the other person believes that they can appear in your life again if you miss a little time.
5. Take responsibility for your decision
Do not blame the situation or your partner, recognize that this is your decision and that no one is forcing you to make it. This also helps you close the loop.
6. Listen without trying to defend yourself
It is important that you listen to what the other person has to say and answer their questions honestly and without trying to cover your back.
7. Cut the relationship cleanly
This means that you are not sending messages, giving likes on social networks or commenting on their photos after having cut, that helps you heal and move forward with your life, but also that your ex can do the same.
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