In a Facebook post by renowned and fast rising relationship expert, Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli, he has added his voice to the sad passing of an 11month old baby, who passed largely due to the maltreatment of a caregiver, as a preschool based at Agbogba over this last week.
In his piece, he makes the basic point that, a caregiver should never become a killer basically and this is indeed filled with lessons for us all. He writes in this short piece that,:
"Personally, it was heartbreaking reading reports from various websites on a caregiver 'killing' an 11-month-old baby girl Allegra Yaba Ackah Mensah, at Happy Bloomers Crèche, Agbogba. I pray the LORD gives the parents strength. As a parent I recollect how it took me time, investigation, background checks, prayers for weeks before sending my child to school.
I have restricted myself from watching the video, so I won't get angry further. I believe many people have watched the video and continue to share their anger and frustrations. The least I expect, is for people to blame the parents for sending their child to school at that age. Our anger should cause us to ensure the right thing is done so we won’t lose any child like this in the future, but not for us to cause the parents more pains.
Children are the responsibility of parents, which includes the father and mother. Some cultural and religious roles are not helping marriages these days. Raising the child has become more of the mother's responsibility than that of the father especially when children are very young.
These kinds of cultural and religious roles worked well in the past mainly because the mother assumed the care giver's position when they get married and the father became the working force that brings in income. The father becomes the bread winner of the family, whilst the mother becomes the home keeper.
These days, things have changed. Both mothers and fathers are working and earning so there is a need to get support at home for care giving. It's unfortunate that, some men don't help their wives at home when it comes to taking care of the children and they think it's the job of the mother because she carried the child for nine months.
A real man makes time to help in the child's development at home by taking part of roles and responsibilities. It should be shared roles if we want to manage the home effectively instead of leaving that on one’s spouse. Dear husbands, helping your wife at home won't change your title from Mr. to Mrs.
Children are work which needs both husband and the wife to raise them well. If they are working parents and have no trusted family members to offer the extra help in raising and taking care of the child, one institution they fall on is the school, the day care system.
These are trained professionals who know how to give the child the best care. It's therefore wrong for anyone to blame and accuse the parents of the 11 months baby for taking her to school at that early stage. Unless the said school doesn't accept children of their age and have no qualified persons to take care of the child.
No parent in their right sense will put their child's life at risk or in danger. It's very insensitive on anyone to blame the parents. If we cannot empathize with them, they don't need our judgments or criticism. It’s time we put the lives of people above income. Wherever you have the opportunity to serve humans; be it a child or adult, let their lives matter to you more than your salary or earning. You have the opportunity to earn what you lost but it’s not same when a life is lost due to our shortfalls.
In conclusion, "The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped" - Proverbs 11:25 (MSG).
Written by Counselor Adofoli
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