Most of us crave a trophy wife or husband; someone who can instantly excite us. The fault in this thought process is a lack of maturity, wisdom and vision in life. The problem is that these things mostly come with age; this is the reason why many couples are struggling in their married lives.
To gain some insight in this topic, let's discuss the right woman versus an attractive woman. A right woman may or may not be physically very attractive, but she would be good at heart. Understanding and empathetic attractiveness is important and overwhelming only for the first few months, and will stay relevant only till the next few years.
After that you would have to spend your whole life with a person, more than a body. Though you can't imagine that one day intimacy with her will be very normal and generic just like a routine life, spicing it up will depend on your love and intentions and not her looks.
If her natural attitude and behavior are negative, or simply her thought process and way of living doesn't coincide with yours, your life will become miserable. Actually not only yours, but her life as well because of your expectations for her.
That initial sexual excitement will transform into awkwardness or sometimes hatred. Attractive looks would then become nothing more than a golden cage; where you would suffocate all your life.
Be wise in selecting a life partner; you absolutely need to know how to vet the women that you date. Most guys are so concerned with making a good impression on the first date, but the first date is really just a sniff test.
You should be asking some questions that are going to let you know what kind of woman she is; things like issues with her, family issues, most importantly the way she thinks, etc. Sometimes, there are some indications that a woman may have an issue bonding with a man.
I'm not saying you should ask her some of those things straight forward, but you should tactically try to figure that stuff out. Spend some time with her as a friend; know her as much as you can and tell her your truth. Bottom line; you should not marry her without knowing her.
With this I will say one more thing, if you just can't like someone's looks no matter how hard you try, spare them today so that you don't make their life miserable later on. I am sure they will find someone who will consider them precious and treat them with love, care and respect.
No man or woman is right or wrong; they may only be right or wrong for you. You also need to be able to do something that almost no men do these days, which is set boundaries before you get into a relationship; letting her know what kind of women you stay committed to.
As far as hypergamy goes that's nothing new. Focus on developing five key areas of your life; physical health, mental health, finances, happiness and lifestyle. In relationships, once you have those areas developed and congruent with each other, hypergamy won't be an issue.
Please take a wise decision today, so that you won't regret tomorrow.
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