My spouse and I have been married for four years. I was in my twenties and he was in his forties. The fact that we are both educated, well-spoken, have similar personalities, and have a wide range of interests has never been an issue for us, and as a result, we get along swimmingly.
My hubby is a kind and considerate individual. Along with his intelligence and fun nature, this is one of the characteristics that made me fall passionately in love with him. I'm not going to say anything about children since it might jeopardize my facelessness.
I've always adored and still love my hubby. But I've never been drawn to him sexually. This isn't to say I don't think he's attractive. No. In terms of physical looks, he's fine, but his appearance has never been the kind to turn me on sexually. Simply said, I'm only sexually attracted to young men my age who have tall, athletic bodies and the energy and agility to please a lady satisfactorily in the bedroom.
I met this type of man at work, and after a few conversations with him, I couldn't help but be drawn to him. I realized he was also drawn to me, and we had sex in a hotel room a week ago.
I'm embarrassed to confess that sex with him was fantastic, but it was. It was far superior to anything I had ever attempted with my husband. I liked how he tossed me around the bed and did things to me that my husband wouldn't do, and I liked how part of his body felt powerful and firm.
I felt a wave of shame rush over me after the act. I realized I had committed a heinous crime and that I had violated my marriage vows. The odour of my guilt followed me about like a stench. I felt terrible for betraying a man who had always loved and cared for me.
The difficulty today is that, despite my continual feelings of remorse and shame, I still desire another period of sexual bliss with my coworker. I'm sorry, but I can't help myself. I'm undecided. I previously told my coworker that it was the last time, but I don't want it to be that way.
I understand that telling my spouse about what I did will end my connection with my colleague, but I'm not sure how my husband will react to this information. I don't want him to regard me as a trust-betrayer, a woman who lacks integrity and virtue.
No, I considered quitting my job or requesting a transfer to avoid working with my coworker, but I decided against it.
No, I pondered quitting my job or asking for a transfer to avoid dealing with my coworker, but I know that wouldn't solve the problem because I still have his social media information and stalk him on occasion (yes, do). I'm torn between two possibilities. I don't know what to do.
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